My Journey to Preserve My Grandmother’s Story: The Preparation Phase

Life has a way of teaching us its most important lessons when we least expect them. For me, it was during a series of funeral ceremonies last year that I realized how many stories remain untold until it’s too late. Sitting there, listening to previously unknown anecdotes about people I thought I knew well, I couldn’t help but think about my own grandmother – a remarkable woman in her nineties who carries nearly a century of memories within her.

The Wake-Up Call

It’s strange how moments of loss can spark moments of clarity. During these ceremonies, I noticed two distinct scenarios: those where families shared surprising, previously unheard stories about their loved ones, and those where the deceased had taken the time to write their own biographies, leaving behind a precious gift of their personal narrative. This contrast hit home hard.

My grandmother’s story is particularly compelling. As the eldest daughter in a family of eight children in the Netherlands, she lived through World War II, raised four children, and faced the devastating loss of her first husband in her fifties. She later found love again with the man I’ve always known as my grandfather, moving to a different part of the country to begin a new chapter. These experiences have shaped her in ways I’m only beginning to understand – perhaps explaining the careful distance she’s maintained in relationships, a trait I’ve always wondered about.

From Personal Need to Shared Solution

Recently becoming a father to my second daughter, around the same time my grandfather passed away, brought everything into sharp focus. I realized two things: first, the importance of leaving behind our own stories for future generations, and second, the urgency of capturing the stories of our elders while we still can.

As I started preparing to interview my grandmother, I found myself creating a structured approach to handle the challenges I was facing. Working in AI and technology, I naturally looked for ways to make this process easier and more meaningful. What started as my personal solution has evolved into something I believe could help others facing the same desire to preserve their family stories.

The Preparation Journey: What I’ve Learned

The First Step: Asking Permission

Perhaps the most crucial step – and one that’s easy to overlook in our enthusiasm – is simply asking for permission to record these stories. In my case, I knew this conversation needed to be handled with care and respect. Rather than approaching my grandmother directly, I asked my mother to introduce the idea. Having her as an intermediary made perfect sense – she could present it in a way that would feel comfortable and natural for my grandmother.

This turned out to be the right approach. My mother explained it as an opportunity for us to spend more time together, to share stories that might otherwise be lost. She emphasized that it would be casual conversations, not formal interviews, and that we’d take it at my grandmother’s pace. The response was positive – my grandmother liked the idea of us coming over regularly to talk about her life.

This initial conversation set the tone for everything that followed. It wasn’t about extracting information; it was about creating an opportunity for meaningful connection across generations.

The Power of Preliminary Research

After diving into numerous biography-writing resources and interviewing guides, I’ve created what I call an “intake process” – a way to gather and organize existing information before the actual interviews begin. This helped me discover that my grandmother had partially filled out a “Tell Us Mom” book years ago, which gave me valuable insights for planning our conversations.

Creating a Question Framework

I’ve learned that having the right questions ready is crucial, but equally important is knowing when to ask them. Through my research, I’ve developed a pool of thoughtful questions that can help guide meaningful conversations while remaining flexible enough to follow unexpected but valuable paths.

Technical and Emotional Preparation

At 92, my grandmother’s memory isn’t what it used to be, though her recollections of her younger years remain remarkably clear. I’ve planned for short, one-hour sessions to avoid overwhelming her. My mother will join us, adding a vital layer of comfort and familiarity to the process.

Where I Am Now

I’ve just completed the intake process, organizing all the existing information we have about my grandmother’s life. The question framework is ready, and we’ve scheduled our first interview session for next week. I’ve tested the recording setup to ensure it won’t be intrusive or overwhelming for her.

An Invitation to Join the Journey

As I prepare for my first interview session with my grandmother, I realize that many others might be in a similar position – wanting to preserve their family stories but unsure where to start. That’s why I’ve decided to share my journey and the tools I’m creating along the way.

Would you like to preserve your family’s stories too? I’m looking for others who want to join me on this journey of discovery. Together, we can learn how to capture and preserve these precious memories before they’re lost to time. I’ll be sharing my experiences, challenges, and insights as I go through this process with my grandmother (see for instance the “How to write a biography about someone else” article that summarizes the high-over steps to write one), and I’d love to hear about your experiences too .

If you’re interested in starting your own family story journey alongside me, I’d love to share this experience with you. As I go through this process myself, I want to help others do the same. That’s why I’m offering a special opportunity for 10 people to join me on this personal journey.

Limited Pioneer Offer (10 spots available)
For those ready to start preserving their family stories, I’m offering personal guidance throughout your journey for $99 (regular price $249). This includes:

• Access to all the tools and frameworks I’ve developed
• Personal support as you navigate your own family’s story
• One beautifully printed hardcover book of your family story
• Three personalized digital versions to share with family members
• Direct guidance from me as we both go through this journey

Ready to start preserving your family’s legacy? Secure a spot by buying the family package here. Together, we can make sure these precious stories aren’t lost to time.

Continue reading my story about my experience from our first biography interview session with my grandmother. Subscribe to follow along with our story-collecting journey.